7 Steps to Freedom From Toxic People

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygsFtkS-oQCWRDvV0TRaTJGTFE7k4VpKLyY9ISe-BkW4cgblRPsFG44RTdfwBjyIOIxjPuincncVeaLKaSTlUK3OrBL4S1_D1QOQ20iB3s6fbhpt25Ubiohn_dPlPCkDBwUgDHT2nOTU/s1600/7+step.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhygsFtkS-oQCWRDvV0TRaTJGTFE7k4VpKLyY9ISe-BkW4cgblRPsFG44RTdfwBjyIOIxjPuincncVeaLKaSTlUK3OrBL4S1_D1QOQ20iB3s6fbhpt25Ubiohn_dPlPCkDBwUgDHT2nOTU/s400/7+step.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 27px; text-align: start;">Have you learned how to say NO?</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Don’t we all have someone in our life who leaves us vulnerable depleted, drained, negative and pessimistic.  Your cruising along and bam, they instantly knock the happiness right out of your sails.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We label these people as “toxic”.  They are narcissistic, manipulative, gossipers who love to put others down and make you feel guilty.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So here’s the ironic thing about “toxic people”, when we complain about toxic people aren’t we ourselves being toxic?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Stop being the victim. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is anyone else really responsible for how you feel inside?  Really ask yourself that question, we all love to blame and truly we believe that somehow ‘they’ meaning toxic people have control over our experiences.  How convenient that we overlook our own responsibility in our relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We are living in an epidemic of blame, even though we choose who we let into our life and for those we didn’t choose to let in (the overbearing mother in law or annoying coworker) we choose how these people make us feel.  If we enter into an exchange preparing for a negative experience then we will receive a negative experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So listen up because we can change.  We don’t have to give up on ‘toxic people’ and though they might not become our best friends, we can let go of the experience and keep our cool.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We are all battling inner delusions, no one is perfect.  We all struggle with pride, jealousy, attachment, ignorance, fear and anger.  Of course we can’t fix anyone else’s inner battles but we have absolute control over our own internal state and our reactions to other’s internal states.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The problem with blaming others is that is leaves us powerless to change.  We have a mistaken belief that our problems lie outside of our control, that they are outer problems.   It’s always my bosses fault for being so rude or my mothers fault for being so ignorant.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Seriously, these are your problems and in saying that I really mean seriously these are your problems!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Have you ever stopped to consider that we don’t have to let someone else’s behaviour become our problem?  Try walking away from an unpleasant interaction thinking, “Wow that was very unpleasant, their inner delusions must be strong today, I’m going to let it go now.”  Then you regain your peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Those who can grasp this concept have a huge advantage in avoiding conflict and creating meaningful relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s really not such a big secret, but most people aren’t aware of this, you are not powerless to all the outer turmoil.  You have everything you need right now to remove toxicity from your life for good.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b><i>7 Steps to Freedom from Toxic People</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="color: purple;">1.  Do you love yourself?</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I mean do you really love yourself, because if you do chances are that you won’t have toxic relationships, you will be a doorman to your life.   Don’t allow toxic behaviour in.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Know that you are worthy. Know that you are beautiful.  Know that you are a good person.  Know that you are extremely important.  When we get to know and love ourselves in a meaningful spiritual way we intrinsically know that we deserve respect.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b>2.  Do you love others?</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I mean is it genuine?  Most can see beyond fake, overcompensated love.  Stretch your love to even those who are difficult to love.  Everyone is worth of love, no matter how deluded or annoying they might be to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When you love unconditionally you will be surprised at how this will change someone’s reaction to you. If there’s anger or judgement behind your intentions, that will shine through, people unconsciously pick up on that, and once they do, its a toxic relationship from both sides.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="color: purple;">3.  Have you learned how to say NO?</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is one magical little word that can change your life.  It’s ok to say No.  Be sure to set boundaries.  Express your emotions and tell others when things are not acceptable.  Communication is a key.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Be assertive, if your boss is putting unreasonable demands on you then confront him in a calm communicative manner.  If you mother in law is being overbearing, stand up to her, chances are she will back down.  Everyone doesn’t have to love you, or like you but when you stand up for yourself everyone will respect you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b>4.  Do you walk away?</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you have a choice, leave a situation that is uncomfortable.  If you approach a group of friends who are all gossiping, excuse yourself.  If you phone up a friend who immediately starts complaining, don’t hesitate to say something came up and you have to run.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Another tactic would be to try to steer the conversation into a positive light.  Make a joke, say something positive.  It’s amazing how negativity snowballs but also how positivity will too.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="background-color: white; color: purple;">5.  Do you take responsibility?</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You have chosen your friends, you have created relationships, you have decided to keep them around, you say yes to events, you might even partake in the gossip and complaining.  Know your role and make efforts to better yourself, maybe that will encourage others to follow suit.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You can choose your reactions.  I can’t say this enough.  You have absolute power over your experience of any situation.  Stop placing blame and start showing compassion.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: purple;"><b>6.  Are you showing compassion? </b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Do you try to understand where someone else might be coming from.  Do you try to put yourself in their shoes.  Everyone has a story worth tuning into.  Before immediately judging someone of good or bad through your lens of conditioning, take the time try to get to know that person.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If we feel compassion for someone we can change our reaction.  We can understand where it’s coming from and stop taking it personally.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="color: purple;">7.  Are you learning from difficult people?</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The core essence of every person is an intrinsically good being.  That doesn’t mean that we won’t ever be annoyed, angry or upset with others, but it does mean that we don’t have to dwell on these traits.  Are we imperfect, for sure, but are we intrinsically toxic, no!  Try to remember that we are all doing the best we can with the tools we have been given.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We can take steps to change our experience, it can be as simple as that.  Instead of projecting judgement and hate try to learn from that person, accept who they are and that they are suffering.  Then try to learn and enhance your own spiritual growth.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have a challenge for you, think about someone in your life who you deem as “toxic”.  Now I want you to envision walking into a room and think about how toxic this person is.  Do you feel the negative energy, the immediate cold front.  Now I want you to envision loving that person, accepting their faults, finding at least one trait you admire and focus on that trait.  Do you feel the shift in energy immediately.  Practice this visualization before you come into contact with others, especially difficult people.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And when the deusions of others feel so overpowering you can’t possibly find a positive space, let it go and remember, do not take anything personally.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The only way to make change occur is to look inward.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Please leave a comment below about the </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><i>‘toxic’ people</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"> in your life.  Do you think you can change your perceptions?</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>

7 Steps to Freedom From Toxic People

Have you learned how to say NO? Don’t we all have someone in our life who leaves us vulnerable depleted, drained, negative and pessimistic. ...

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5 Big Things You Forgot to Be Grateful For Today

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu7o5wCEp5sY_TeCn_ILV-NNWoXdLRMUq8lh6vCCjM3zmVu4nS4zl3jnA3us9XKJgdcDRWfEvPBirrJKTVDKFF5CS9GGtHh0zgAB9sfEmvCtdCkPdylRWFQcWKpZMB10_GDQ2xJadA8Mo/s1600/5+thing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu7o5wCEp5sY_TeCn_ILV-NNWoXdLRMUq8lh6vCCjM3zmVu4nS4zl3jnA3us9XKJgdcDRWfEvPBirrJKTVDKFF5CS9GGtHh0zgAB9sfEmvCtdCkPdylRWFQcWKpZMB10_GDQ2xJadA8Mo/s400/5+thing.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">5 Big Things You Forgot to Be Grateful For Today</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Albert Einstein famously declared that “there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This post is a friendly reminder to all those out there whose viewfinders of life have become smudged, preventing us from seeing all the miracles in life. There are many reasons to clean your viewfinders: gratitude improves health, happiness, spirituality, connection, relationships, self worth and simply gives life intense meaning. Why wait until you get bad news to revaluate and appreciate the good things in your life?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Here are a few things you may have forgotten to be grateful for today:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">1.  The magic of being human</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You are lucky to be human. Not only are we blessed with many comforts, but we are also the only species that can contemplate our own spiritual development.  To be able to ponder our existence and the mysteries of the universe is truly remarkable! You could have been born many things: an insect, a fish or a bird. Even though we humans endure hardships, the animal kingdom faces unimaginable suffering.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">2.  The kindness of the world</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Everywhere you look there is kindness. Before your next meal, stop and consider all the work and kindness that enabled you to enjoy this meal.  Contemplate the mother who raised the farmer, the farmer who grew your food, and the truck driver who delivered it to your town. Take time to truly express gratitude for your food, shelter, water and luxuries.  Without the kindness of others, you would not be enjoying any of these things.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>3. The fact that life is in a constant state of flux</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We might think, Huh?  I’m not happy about change.  I don’t want to age or say goodbye to loved ones. But if we don’t change, we can’t grow, and if we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.  Could you imagine if nothing ever changed?  You’d be stuck the same person, with the same habits – for eternity. Stop fighting against change and instead be thankful for its refreshing opportunities.  Life flows and because everything is in a constant state of flux, we have the absolute power to rewrite our story anytime we choose.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><span style="color: #274e13;">4. Your breath</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Breath is energy, flowing endlessly, and carrying you from then to now to tomorrow. Breath is the thread that ties all your fears, happiness, love, relationships and truths together.  Your breath is the music of the passage of time. Tune in, listen carefully and quietly, bridge the connection between merely existing and really living.  Say to yourself: Today I will breathe deep and be thankful.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><b>5.  Love</b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The world is built on love.  Love is on the main act on the grand stage of your life.  Love can make you feel like you’re a part of something special and meaningful.  Love can make you high, pick you up and make you feel like never coming down. Love your family, pets, friends, siblings, co-workers, community and strangers too. Even love those who aren’t easy to love.  And most of all don’t forget to love mother earth; for it is mother earth who houses us all.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even if your life isn’t perfect (and here’s a secret: it will never be perfect), you still have a lot for which you can be grateful.  So everyday remember to take the time to smile, laugh and truly say thanks for all the small and big joys in your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In the comments below please add to this list, what else do you think we are forgetting to be grateful for today?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br />

5 Big Things You Forgot to Be Grateful For Today

5 Big Things You Forgot to Be Grateful For Today Albert Einstein famously declared that “there are only two ways to live your life. One is a...

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It Was Never My Fault: My Personal Journey from Blame to Acceptance

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOH7IdEtOF4mVvZJMcILjL87wwmmr_H26ln0TIIT5hY8ntXCNdsyABv9-GAV2vZg-boNBMbHTeHKh0kTjjI5tFodM4So7VsvEl24VeDINvgd_T76-uIpFfg6KIAcoqBFdDvJwmaUQT6mM/s1600/change+your+life.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOH7IdEtOF4mVvZJMcILjL87wwmmr_H26ln0TIIT5hY8ntXCNdsyABv9-GAV2vZg-boNBMbHTeHKh0kTjjI5tFodM4So7VsvEl24VeDINvgd_T76-uIpFfg6KIAcoqBFdDvJwmaUQT6mM/s400/change+your+life.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>It Was Never My Fault: My Personal Journey from Blame to Acceptance</i></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My world was changing in every sense of the phrase. At the age of 12, I was moving from the Ukraine to Canada. I was leaving all of my friends and family as well as everything that I had known since the day I was born. I was going to be alone, an outsider; I was going to be the immigrant in all of my classes. If the life changes experienced through adolescence weren’t grueling enough, now, I had to cope with moving to an entirely foreign place with nothing but my parents and a suitcase.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had an incredibly difficult time adapting to my new environment and my new life. I was immersed in a culture completely unknown to me. It wasn’t easy making new friends; especially when your first languages differ from one another. I yearned for the company of my friends and extended family back home.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At the age of 14, my world came crashing down; my parents were divorcing. My father’s alcoholism became so dangerous that it was unbearable for my mother. After the divorce, my mom suffered from severe depression. It was debilitating and as a result, she couldn’t work any longer and went on disability. I lost my father to the bottle and I lost my mother to her own despair.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I couldn’t believe that my family was ripped apart and it was entirely my fault. I couldn’t help either of my parents. My father was more focused on his next drink than spending time with his only daughter. I couldn’t save him no matter how much I tried. My mother was too miserable to get out of bed let alone make me lunch for school or take care of me in any way. I thought that I was the reason my father drank, for my mom’s depression and for my parents’ divorce. I blamed myself for everything and I just couldn’t cope with life anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I tried to hide my pain with the drugs I started using, find comfort in dating any guy that gave me the slightest bit of attention, almost dropped out of school and when that wasn’t enough, I started cutting myself. I released the emotions that I couldn’t cope with through my promiscuous and destructive behaviors. Since I couldn’t be there for my parents and they weren’t there for me, I felt alone and couldn’t find a reason to live anymore. My depression worsened and I tried to take my own life… twice.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was after my second suicide attempt that my Aunt Anna came and rescued me (my mother didn’t even care). My dear Aunt Anna took me to see a psychologist; this was the turning point in my life. Six months into therapy, I had completely changed my perception of myself as well as my self-esteem. I started realizing my own self-worth and valuing all that I had to offer myself as well as others. I went from blaming myself for my parents’ failures to accepting none of them were my fault or even in my control. I was becoming a new person that was discovering my own intelligence and even, my own talents.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Seven years later, I am happily married to a guy who loves and adores me. I know my marriage can and will be different from my parents’ disastrous one. Last year, I graduated college with degree in Kinesiology and got accepted to medical school at McMaster University. I’m an aspiring psychiatrist with a desire to help troubled children inspired through my own personal journey of change.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="100" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/ZWZ9AD7W?autostart=true" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed width="400" height="100" src="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/ZWZ9AD7W?autostart=true" quality="high" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><b style="color: #274e13; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 27px;"><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: right;"><b style="color: #274e13; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 27px;"><i>By Olga Pavlenko</i></b></div>

It Was Never My Fault: My Personal Journey from Blame to Acceptance

It Was Never My Fault: My Personal Journey from Blame to Acceptance My world was changing in every sense of the phrase. At the age of 12, I ...

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You Are the Author of Your Story

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQyuuJb751wrfjZj4eHPuKhqXqUSwZ7ZyHd6vtscuD-hlXsP7duvaFvWGAXpisrjbq43Jo2QPzYHknCcEihlaZt4z9YEK7kbnPtJJdohIepD_RDtwZXzDLtdvVuf9Tf72_BW-2l2e-qaA/s1600/author.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQyuuJb751wrfjZj4eHPuKhqXqUSwZ7ZyHd6vtscuD-hlXsP7duvaFvWGAXpisrjbq43Jo2QPzYHknCcEihlaZt4z9YEK7kbnPtJJdohIepD_RDtwZXzDLtdvVuf9Tf72_BW-2l2e-qaA/s400/author.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 24px; line-height: 27px; text-align: start;">Photo by John O’Nolan</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If my sister’s life were a movie, turning 30 should have been the happy ending. Raised in a rural farming community, my sister studied hard and successfully entered a competitive pre-med college program. From there, she went on to medical school, working a 3-month internship at NASA during those years. She blazed through her residency, then landed her first job as a full-time doctor in a town she loved. At 30, she looked poised to take on the world. Curtain call, end of story.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And yet, my sister was not happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our culture treats many types of change as positive signs of growth and prosperity. There’s a reason why when someone meets you for the first time, he asks you a few key questions. What’s your job? We believe your job tells us something integral about you. How educated you are. How successful you are. If you answer “doctor,” like my sister, we automatically assume that you are well off and happy. If you answer “unemployed,” we often believe the opposite.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s not just job status that defines us. Someone may ask you about your personal life. Are you married or single? The former implies happiness, the latter, maybe not. How about kids? If you have a few, one might assume you’re happy. If you’re older and don’t have any, maybe they worry your “biological clock is ticking.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">People love stories, and there is a story that many of us have been told which outlines a pattern for a successful life. It goes something like this: Be a good student when you’re young. Study hard. Earn a practical degree with lots of earning potential. Get a great job. Marry. Have kids. Retire. Enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s actually not a bad story. I know many people, people that I love and respect, who have followed this formula, and they are indeed happy and successful.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But then there are people like my sister, who found herself with a great education and a fantastic job, but she wasn’t happy. Coming straight out of college with a decent amount of debt, she took a grueling job that worked her 60-80 hours per week. She felt stressed, overtired, and perhaps worst of all, unable to spend as much time with her patients as she liked. She burned out after a few years, wondering if she had chosen the wrong career after all.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you don’t like your story, how do you go about re-writing it? Like any good author, it takes many drafts and a lot of trial and error. My sister tried a variety of things. She moved back home and wrote screenplays, winning awards and getting one play produced by a local college. When that didn’t fulfill her, she taught anatomy at a nursing school. When that still didn’t quite pan out, she went back to being a doctor, only this time she found part-time work at a small practice where she has more say in her patient care. It doesn’t pay as much, but her job satisfaction couldn’t be greater. Career-wise, she has found the place she wants to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Still far from fulfilled, my sister decided to go through several years of in vitro fertilization and ended up having beautiful twin boys. She’s raising them as a single mother without the aid of “the right guy” and loving every minute of it, despite how much she stands out in the rural community she lives in.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My sister’s story will not end here. It will continue to grow and change. Given her history and personality, I have a feeling her story will unfold to be as unique and adventurous as she is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So remember: no matter what anybody tells you, you are in charge of your own story. It doesn’t matter if it is a traditional tale or something more varied. It doesn’t matter if the people around you approve or disapprove of your job or relationship status. What does matter is how you view your life, and the journey you take while writing it.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="100" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/IW90B0AI?autostart=true" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed width="400" height="100" src="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/IW90B0AI?autostart=true" quality="high" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 27px; text-align: right;"><i><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">                                                                       </span></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 27px; text-align: right;"><i><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">                                                                     By Deborah Fike</span></i></b></div>

You Are the Author of Your Story

Photo by John O’Nolan If my sister’s life were a movie, turning 30 should have been the happy ending. Raised in a rural farming community, m...

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15 điều dù không muốn nhưng ta buộc phải chấp nhận

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEMoSBcsOeJuWOycXB6umqFg4PmUE4hYmLY_xBJI1tRJ3PJqrd_BBYr-55Lv0TIbTAeoI6prsczCwXlS-kL3PLvVtL7RMhdgmetePcmtzXBveajxWhJhzmdN9QtriIC4aeFqLvnzHoK2w/s400/17.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">15 điều dù không muốn nhưng ta buộc phải chấp nhận</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEMoSBcsOeJuWOycXB6umqFg4PmUE4hYmLY_xBJI1tRJ3PJqrd_BBYr-55Lv0TIbTAeoI6prsczCwXlS-kL3PLvVtL7RMhdgmetePcmtzXBveajxWhJhzmdN9QtriIC4aeFqLvnzHoK2w/s1600/17.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1. Một số quan hệ sẽ hạnh phúc, một số khác sẽ trở thành bài học<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #274e13;">Dù thế nào thì bạn cũng đừng hối tiếc vì quen biết một người nào đó. Mỗi người bạn gặp đều dạy cho bạn một điều gì đó rất quan trọng.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">2. Đến lúc khó khăn, một số người nhất định sẽ rời bỏ bạn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sẽ có rất nhiều người ở xung quanh bạn lúc thuận lợi, nhưng lúc bạn khó khăn, ai ở lại với bạn, giúp đỡ bạn thì mới thực sự là người bạn tốt của bạn!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">3. Một số người chỉ tử tế vì bản thân họ - kiểu người chỉ gọi điện khi họ cần gì đó hoặc chỉ tạt qua chơi khi có lợi cho họ.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">4. Một số người nói thì rất hay nhưng hành động thì…còn xét !<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Đặt niềm tin vào họ chỉ phí cuộc đời của bạn mà thôi.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">5. Có những người mà bạn càng ít giao du với họ thì cuộc sống của bạn càng tốt lên.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Đừng trở thành “giờ nghỉ”, “thời gian rảnh”, hoặc “đôi khi” của ai đó. Nếu họ không thể có mặt vì bạn toàn bộ thời gian, nhất là khi bạn cần họ nhất, thì họ không xứng đáng với thời gian của bạn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">6. Lời lẽ cay nghiệt làm người ta tổn thương hơn cả đau đớn thể xác.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hãy nếm thử lời nói của mình trước khi tuôn ra. Lời nói làm tổn thương và gây sẹo nhiều hơn bạn nghĩ, vì vậy hãy NGHĨ trước khi nói. Và nên nhớ, những điều bạn nói về người khác cũng nói lên tất cả về chính bạn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">7. Sai lầm là một tai nạn. Gian lận và dối trá không phải là sai lầm.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Vì đó là những lựa chọn cố tình. Hãy chấm dứt trốn sau từ “sai lầm” và ”xin lỗi”, và chấm dứt tha thứ cho những con người như thế.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">8. Những mảnh vỡ bạn mang theo đó là những mảnh bạn phải tự vá lại cho mình. Hạnh phúc đơn thuần là chuyện xảy ra trong nội tâm con người bạn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">9. Khi mọi người khó chịu với bạn, thường thì tốt nhất là bỏ đi.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Khi có người coi bạn không ra gì, đừng để ý và đừng coi đó là chuyện cá nhân. Chuyện đó không nói lên điều gì về bạn mà nói nhiều về nhân cách của họ. Và cho dù họ làm hay nói gì, đừng bao giờ hạ mình xuống ngang tầm với họ và ăn miếng trả miếng. Bạn chỉ cần biết mình tốt hơn thế và bỏ đi.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">10. Mọi người sẽ đối xử với bạn theo cách bạn cho phép họ.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Bạn không thể akiểm soát họ, nhưng bạn có thể kiểm soát điều bạn có thể chịu đựng. Những điều tốt đẹp đến khi bạn tránh xa những người xấu. Làm như thế không có nghĩa là bạn ghét họ, đơn giản có nghĩa là bạn tôn trọng bản thân mình.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">11. Một trong những nhiệm vụ khó khăn nhất trong đời là gỡ bỏ một người ra khỏi trái tim bạn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Nhưng nên nhớ rằng, không có mối quan hệ nào là lãng phí thời gian cả. Các quan hệ sai lầm dạy bạn những bài học chuẩn bị cho bạn gặp được người phù hợp nhất với mình.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">12. Oán giận làm tổn thương bạn, chứ không phải họ.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">13. Im lặng và cười có thể che giấu rất nhiều nỗi đau với thế giới bên ngoài.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Hãy chú ý tới những người mà bạn quan tâm. Thỉnh thoảng khi một người bạn nói “Mình không sao”, “Mình ổn”, thì điều đó có nghĩa là họ cần bạn nhìn sâu vào mắt họ, cần bạn ôm họ thật chặt và trả lời “Mình biết là không phải thế”.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">14. Tình yêu đích thực đến khi không có sự điều khiển.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tình yêu đích thực chỉ đến khi bạn quan tâm nhiều đến con người thực sự của người kia hơn là nghĩ họ nên trở thành người như thế nào, khi bạn dám bộc lộ mình một cách trung thực, khi bạn dám cởi mở và yếu đuối. Cần có hai người mới tạo ra được một khung cảnh chân thành.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #7f6000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">15. Ngay cả quan hệ tốt đẹp nhất cũng không kéo dài mãi mãi.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #7f6000;">Không ai sống suốt đời mà không mất người họ yêu, người họ cần, hay điều gì đó mà họ nghĩ vốn là của họ. Hãy đánh giá cao cái bạn có, người yêu bạn và người quan tâm đến bạn. Bạn sẽ không bao giờ biết họ có ý nghĩa với mình như thế nào cho đến ngày họ không còn ở bên bạn nữa. Và nên nhớ, không thể chỉ vì có những thứ không tồn tại mãi mãi thì có nghĩa là nó không đáng để bạn mất thời gian.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><b>By Nguyễn Hữu Học</b></i></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 18pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>

15 điều dù không muốn nhưng ta buộc phải chấp nhận

15 điều dù không muốn nhưng ta buộc phải chấp nhận 1. Một số quan hệ sẽ hạnh phúc, một số khác sẽ trở thành bài học Dù thế nào thì bạn cũng ...

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Follow Your Ideal: 3 Steps to Creating Your Dream Life

<div style="text-align: center;"><object height="61" width="300"><param name="movie" value="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/ZWZAIWI7?autostart=true" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed width="300" height="61" src="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/ZWZAIWI7?autostart=true" quality="high" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="dream life" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11616" height="266" src="http://www.thechangeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dream-life.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ag2r/7897228018/">Ángelo González</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><blockquote><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #274e13;">Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe. </span>— Mark Victor Hansen</span></blockquote><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">When I was born, something strange happened. I didn’t cry. The doctors thought I was dead.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Alarmed, they picked and prodded at me to see what was going on. After a few moments of their panicking, I started to cry. I was not dead. I was born asleep.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;">In some ways, I stayed asleep for the first twenty-four years of my life.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">I think I was a good kid. I grew up without too much fanfare. I got good grades, had nice friends, did my homework on time, and excelled in college all on my own. I enjoyed a happy life within a happy family. I followed the path given to me without a hitch.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Do you know what happens when you’re good at following a path? You continue to follow it, no matter where it leads you.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">After college, though, I ended up in jobs that felt stifling, and I began to experiment with reading books written by entrepreneurs. After reading a few success stories of people who created their own dream life, I began to wonder…</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Could I do this for myself, too?</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">The jury is still out on that one. I work every day to try to make it happen, but I wonder how it got started. I wonder what exactly was the one thing that led me to actually start creating that dream life I had cooked up in my mind for so long.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">One thing comes to mind: thinking about my ideal.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">We’re not trained to think in terms of ideals. To describe my ideal life implies that there is another option out there, and that I deserve to live it.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">The first time I pondered my ideal life, I was blown away. It’s a simple concept but not easy to decipher by any means. To describe my ideal life goes against the decades of societal training I’ve undergone.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">To make it easier to answer, I’ve broken down my ideal life into three categories: my ideal day, my ideal work, and my ideal experiences. Defining each makes it easier to come up with the whole: my ideal life. Once I knew what fit into these three categories, I had a more concrete direction to head toward.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">If you are looking to create your dream life, these three categories may help you get there:</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><h3><span style="font-size: large;">1. Your Ideal Day</span></h3><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">What is your ideal day?</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">As children, we were allowed huge amounts of playtime — to tire us out, to allow us to learn, to give parents some time to breathe. As we grow up, though, the time allotted for playing dwindles quickly. By our teenage years, we are asked to do so many routine activities, most of which feels unnatural to us at the time. Finishing high school, going off to college, choosing a place to work, finding a partner, picking a retirement plan — and the list goes on.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Digging inside myself, I realized that I could construct my ideal day down to the minute if I really let my mind and heart roam free. This is what I wrote down:</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">6AM: Wake up to write</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">11AM: Exercise by either running or doing bodyweights</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">1PM: Lunch with family or friends, catching up and sharing experiences</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">4PM: Spend time with my husband working, conversing, having dinner, and sleeping.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">None of that is too rigid, as most things in life feel better when they are flexible and free, but that is a day that leaves me feeling refreshed, fulfilled and loved.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Once I knew what my ideal day looked like, I set about achieving it. It led me to quitting my job and making various other drastic career moves.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><h3><span style="font-size: large;">2. Your Ideal Work</span></h3><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">What is your ideal work like? Who is your ideal client?</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">I can’t tell you how much these two questions changed my life and my career. When I read this question for the first time, I thought to myself, “Wait a second. I get to choose who I work with?!”</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Why did nobody ever teach us to stop and think about who we take money from? Why did nobody ever teach us to be as picky with our clients as we are with our significant others?</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Most of us would never do business with a drug cartel or a thief, but the filter of who we do work with stops right around that legal barrier.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">We usually don’t take it much further than that, do we? It may be time to start.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">As I answered those questions, I thought back to which clients I had enjoyed the most and why. At the time, I was only a few years into business and a bit green. I answered these questions for myself early on in my career, and, as I’ve grown my business and worked with more people, I’ve been more careful about who I allow in my path and in my business.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Just to give you an idea of what an ideal client might be like, I’ll share with you what I answered a few years ago:</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">“People who teach me things, share great articles/books, like to bounce ideas off each other, share experiences and try to help me better myself through their experiences. They are also open to my suggestions for new ideas in bettering themselves. Happy.”</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">It’s a small sort of revolution when you realize you don’t have to take all the paid work that comes your way. The change is extraordinary.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><h3><span style="font-size: large;">3. Your Relationship With The World</span></h3><span style="font-size: large;"></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8RyQzRtr-ii0-mzKeep9fr2DbkXgmohOC2FWEts5-pibZjAq2k6dTkyaH5wJFjkMTF2po9w7m0YTMbTv0P40qifnE94d-ckLqw38-Qu_6FMVYqhdLVKedaMCeE_-PnLJzCBZZ9ZtXC0/s1600/8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8RyQzRtr-ii0-mzKeep9fr2DbkXgmohOC2FWEts5-pibZjAq2k6dTkyaH5wJFjkMTF2po9w7m0YTMbTv0P40qifnE94d-ckLqw38-Qu_6FMVYqhdLVKedaMCeE_-PnLJzCBZZ9ZtXC0/s400/8.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><h3><span style="font-size: large;"> Your Relationship With The World</span></h3></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-size: large;">What are your ideal experiences? When was the last time you experienced something amazing?</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">You know that moment when you accomplish something amazing, and you throw your arms up in blissful triumph? I love that uphill battle to the top. That is one of my ideal experiences.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">You know that moment when you step out of somewhere — your home, a bus, a plane — and you look out onto a beautiful, breathtaking paradise? I love that moment when awe smacks me in the face. That is one my ideal experiences.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">You know that moment on Christmas morning when the entire family comes together to share laughs and wonderful food? I love that moment when love is so thick in the air it’s almost palpable. That is another of my ideal experiences.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">The trick behind identifying what your ideal experiences is figuring out how to repeat them over and over again. Once you know what you enjoy most, you can work toward building them up again and again.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">Some experiences are meant to be rare and difficult to attain, but others can be replicated almost daily. I can’t tell you how much better my day is when I begin it with the warmth of family.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">In the words of Michel de Montaigne:</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">“No wind works for the man that has no intended post to sail towards.”</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">If you’re trying to create your dream life, could following your ideal help you achieve it? Looking forward to hearing your stories in the comments!</span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="authorlink"><i>By</i> <span class="author vcard"><span class="fn">Marcella Chamorro</span></span></span></span></i></b></span></span></div>

Follow Your Ideal: 3 Steps to Creating Your Dream Life

  Photo by Ángelo González Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe. — Mark...

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How to Gain Clarity in Your Life

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="gain clarity" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-6061" height="240" src="http://www.thechangeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/gain-clarity.jpg" title="gain clarity" width="400" /></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ro2b3yface/5918080004/">Robby Mueller</a></span></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ro2b3yface/5918080004/"></a></span></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="authorlink"><em><br /></em><a href="http://effortlessabundance.com/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong></strong></span></a> </span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Henry David Thoreau famously wrote that most people (‘the mass of men’) live lives of quiet desperation.  Most of us probably wouldn’t describe our daily experience as ‘desperation,’ but there may be an uncomfortable feeling that we are drifting along, not having a clear aim, not having achieved what we dreamed about in the past and yet not knowing quite why.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Usually, this feeling is not painful enough to drive us into making any real changes, so the danger is that we can drift along like this indefinitely. Many people who have made significant advances in life have had periods of intense discomfort which have forced them to go inside, reflect and become more aware.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For most of us, there are things we can do to become clearer about where we are, what we want and how to get there. These practices may be less radical that sudden upheavals and painful experiences, but they can be uncomfortable – learning new things usually is – and a gentle persistence will be an important attitude to adopt if you attempt them seriously.</span></span><br /><br /><h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Meditation</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDzt3am0gwHXA-YWj9hujG7LQ8HCh8x-dpsMWNPKMgK9fUh76bUknzcj2DAqnjM3qFZbrkJr3X1xSeGa3TlFwpDYkaxpbLk7fogRDSFomcQ8hgrweaGKRxz4At_-sqP5yRHytmJTIh5GQ/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDzt3am0gwHXA-YWj9hujG7LQ8HCh8x-dpsMWNPKMgK9fUh76bUknzcj2DAqnjM3qFZbrkJr3X1xSeGa3TlFwpDYkaxpbLk7fogRDSFomcQ8hgrweaGKRxz4At_-sqP5yRHytmJTIh5GQ/s400/7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How to Gain Clarity in Your Life</td></tr></tbody></table></span></span></div><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The kind of meditation the Buddha is said to have taught is most closely reflected in Vippassana or ‘insight’  meditation. The technique is extremely simple: no special apparatus or prior knowledge is needed, just a quiet place and a period of time. All you have to do it sit comfortably with a straight back and observe your breath. Nothing more. In time, the practice is intended to bring about clarity and insight into the nature of the self, and that of reality.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Some years ago, I attended one of S. N. Goenka’s famous ten day Vippassana retreats. The <a href="http://www.dhamma.org/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Goenka organization</span></a> is a worldwide group dedicated to teaching the practice of insight meditation.  The retreats are tough – many hours of meditation, only two small meals per day, basic communal facilities such as dorms, and a strict code of silence. Attendees are not allowed phones, books, journals or any other form of intellectual stimulation.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Goenka courses are excellent in the sense that they force you to meditate – there are quite literally no distractions, and one is forced to face up to the many obvious – and subtle – ways in which we try to avoid a practice which is so alien to our restless mind and which forces us to face some uncomfortable realities. But for those not quite ready to take the plunge, there are plenty of online courses available, such as those offered by <a href="http://www.wildmind.org/meditation"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Wildmind</span></a>. It is also usually possible to find a local meditation centre offering guided evening sessions.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mindfulness</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Meditation is a way of focusing on the present moment in a very intense kind of way; the practice of <strong>mindfulness</strong> is a way of being present throughout the day. It just means watching yourself, being a silent witness to your own feelings, thoughts and reactions, in order to gain clarity about everything you do, feel or think. We usually move through life in a fairly unconscious state, responding to circumstances in a conditioned way, unconscious repetition of learned behaviors.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Becoming more mindful is not easy –  it requires a great deal of practice but will, in time, lead to a great deal of clarity and insight into what drives us. With this knowledge, we can make better choices and exert more control over how we respond to situations and hence what we experience.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Two books I particularly recommended are <em>Awareness</em> by Anthony de Mello and <em>Mindfulness in Plain English</em> by Bhante Gunaratana. De Mello’s book is full of anecdotes and stories which underline the importance and the (sometimes surprising) consequences of being more ‘awake .’</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Our connection with the natural world</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Although we might sometimes be tempted to see ‘nature’ as ‘something out there,’ separate from our experience, we are, of course, very much a part of the environment, and we naturally feel more centered and clear when we are close to our natural environment. We haven’t been living in houses and apartments for very long, and city living is a particularly new innovation which can be very stressful.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is helpful to find time regularly to spend time in a more natural environment. This doesn’t have to mean trekking through the jungle – even walking through a park or a garden can bring great benefits. In Hong Kong, where I have lived for many years, it can be extremely difficult to find the time and the opportunity to get out into nature, but it is possible, and making a conscious effort to do so enables me to maintain more balance and perspective. If I can do it here in Hong Kong, I think almost anyone can!</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Making friends with our mortality</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Death is something we often try to avoid thinking about, and yet it is one of the very few things we all have to face up to sooner or later. Only when it is forced into our attention – such as when a friend or loved one dies – do we really think about it.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Some months ago, a very good friend of mine died after a long illness, and I was forced – as he was, although in a less intense way – to come to terms with the fragility and the brevity of life. I can personally attest to the clarity such a process brings.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It  has been said that all our fears stem from  an underlying fear of death, and so coming to terms with this most basic and primordial event may hold the key to living more fearlessly and achieving more. The rapper 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson) attributes his success partially to having had to face death – quite literally. He was shot nine times just as he was on the verge of signing a lucrative record deal. He almost died and spent quite some time in hospital, alone with his thoughts.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I once attended a series of talks given by a Buddhist monk. He said the reason monks are so happy is because they think so often about death. They truly understand the shortness and the sweetness of life. They don’t waste time.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Facing the truth</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Clarity, in a sense, is the key to everything – a deep understanding of how the world works and, most importantly, what drives and motivates us, allows us to act with skill and to be more successful and content. There is no end to the stories we tell ourselves and the mental gymnastics we perform to hide ourselves from the truth. But a radical and comprehensive honesty is a prerequisite for gaining clarity.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fifteen hundred years ago, a wise man wrote, ‘<em>Know the other, know yourself, and the victory will not be at risk; know the ground, know the natural conditions, and the victory will be total</em>’ (Sun Tzu, <em>The Art of War</em>).</span></span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="authorlink"><span style="color: purple;"><b>By Mark Harrison</b></span> </span></span></span></div>

How to Gain Clarity in Your Life

Photo by Robby Mueller Henry David Thoreau famously wrote that most people (‘the mass of men’) live lives of quiet desperation.  Most of u...

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How I Lost & Found Myself in a 216 Mile Relay Race

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.thechangeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/found-myself.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="found myself" border="0" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11979" height="267" src="http://www.thechangeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/found-myself.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/procsilas/2304602936/">Procsilas Moscas</a></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="authorlink"><em><br /></em></span></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson</span></span></blockquote><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I signed up for the Cascade Lakes Relay (a 216.6 mile race through central Oregon’s high desert) I was thrilled at the opportunity to experience the outdoors through an activity that I love.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On the road I took in the picturesque landscapes, the expanse of trees, the crisp air, and the comfort of knowing that the noise and distractions of Portland were miles away.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At times throughout the course, CLR seems like any other race. As people run their legs, their teammates pass them and cheer from support vans, and I felt like I was part of a magnificent event.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But when my own support van passed me in the middle of my legs, I was caught off guard by the unexpected solitude.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This experience is what made the Cascade Lakes Relay different than any other race I’ve finished. There were no aid stations, no mile markers, and no familiar avenues or landmarks.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There is only the runner and the road stretching before her in a remote and unfamiliar country.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After several races, I know just what to expect from your typical in-town road race. I know that in a half-marathon I tend to hit a wall at mile 10. And I’m familiar with running until my feet feel as if I’ve worn the skin off them. But this race required physical and mental endurance unlike any other.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As a first time runner of CLR, one of my intentions for this race was to challenge myself in a way that I never have before.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I trained for the physical challenges; running 4-5 times a week in varying distances, running on hills and hot summer days, and going for 6-8 mile runs, which was about the length of my legs. A week before the race I even did a two-a-day run, so I knew what it felt like for my body to have a short recovery time.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But there is no training that could have prepared me for the mental challenges of the relay. I encountered something far more challenging than completing a long distance or finishing with a PR.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Immersed in this solitude, it felt as if the race had ripped down the walls of comfort and security. It felt like free-floating, cut loose from the ties of society. Unsure when I would see my team and support van again, a panic arose in me, and I had to rely on my own means for pulling through it.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Running is an exercise in mindfulness. I choose not to run with headphones and instead listen to what arises when my mind and body are pushed to the limit.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So in those moments I didn’t have music to distract my mind when uncomfortable thoughts arose; thoughts that told me I’d lost my van, that I was on the wrong road, and that I would never finish this race.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This was particularly challenging on my night leg where I was surrounded by thick darkness. Other than a blink-and-you-miss-it-town, there are no signs of life for miles. For a period I was completely alone, and I felt surrounded by unfathomable emptiness.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I ran toward the van lights in the distance, I felt light-headed and fearful, because it didn’t seem like I was getting any closer. For the sake of finishing the leg, I quashed it down, but the feeling still haunted me. I was stunned by the sudden occurrence of these emotions.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Early the next morning on my third and final leg, I found a little peace amid the emptiness. For the last couple miles of the leg, the support vans turn off on a dirt road, and the runner is unsupported until they meet their van at the exchange point.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">By then I was tired of constantly sharing the road, and I longed for the quiet experience of being outdoors. In the absence of the vans all was silent. For the first time during the race, I was grateful for the stillness and seclusion.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I let go of everything, which I had been clutching tightly: eagerness to finish my leg, uneasiness about the race, and any fears about my ability to finish.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDsY5Yz7TUxOcKGPQOIeRJKb33rGHb06JQBp45ZYDZ7ilrL63vYgTZyQcRjCZemOE0ERKQKvhZxcJzUVksrDcEHMrxhlJY9q-6ap0b5GJCyLWXcVpIbqfqYCj0hveyI9OkGr27nX9oXg/s1600/6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDsY5Yz7TUxOcKGPQOIeRJKb33rGHb06JQBp45ZYDZ7ilrL63vYgTZyQcRjCZemOE0ERKQKvhZxcJzUVksrDcEHMrxhlJY9q-6ap0b5GJCyLWXcVpIbqfqYCj0hveyI9OkGr27nX9oXg/s400/6.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;">How I Lost & Found Myself in a 216 Mile Relay Race</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I reflect on my experience, some of that fear and panic remains a mystery. I find myself asking, “What was that?” But while I don’t have the answers, there is a noticeable shift. I know that my running has evolved in a fundamental way.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m searching for something else now, something that cannot be counted like a distance, a pace, or a finish time. It’s something visceral that doesn’t yet have a name.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I continue to push myself to the edge, I need only think of myself on the last couple miles of the third leg, present in my surroundings, a runner on her own quiet road.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Have you had an experience that had an unexpected outcome? I’d love to hear your thoughts.</em></span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="authorlink"><em>By</em> <strong><span class="author vcard"><span class="fn">Jane Endacott</span></span></strong></span></span></span></span></div>

How I Lost & Found Myself in a 216 Mile Relay Race

Photo by Procsilas Moscas What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerso...

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5 Mistakes You Must Avoid When Following Your Passion

<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.thechangeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/following-your-passion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="following your passion" border="0" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-11991" height="271" src="http://www.thechangeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/following-your-passion.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cadencrawford/8382082494/">Caden Crawford</a></span></span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="authorlink"><i><br /></i><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="author vcard"><span class="fn"><a href="http://www.thechangeblog.com/author/henri-junttila/" rel="author" title="Posts by Henri Junttila"></a></span></span></b></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In 2006, I had a vague feeling of unease.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I felt like something was missing, but I didn’t know what.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was playing poker professionally and making a good living, but I yearned for more.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">More fulfillment. More excitement. More purpose. More joy.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s been over half a decade since, and today I’m making a living doing what I love. I’m absolutely in love with the work I do and my life.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But the journey there was filled with stumbling into pitfalls and getting shoved back by walls.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That’s why this article is all about the mistakes I made during my path.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">By writing this, I hope you can avoid them, although sometimes you can’t, because you need to make mistakes in order to move forward.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let’s dive in.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">1. The Perfection Trap</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One of the first problems I ran into was trying to find the perfect passion.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I got so caught up in this that I made no progress at all. I wanted to make a living online, but I lacked focus.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I never focused on one thing for long enough to allow it to work.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Trying to find perfection paralyzed me.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But in 2009 something happened. I realized that if I wanted to make this work, I had to start where I was with what I had.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That’s when I decided to focus on building a small niche site online. I got in touch with someone who was already doing what I wanted to do, and I implemented what I learned.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I took whatever steps I could take, my path began unfolding before my eyes. I realized that it is by taking one step at a time that I’ll get to the top of the mountain.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is by starting where I am with what I can do that I’ll allow myself to move forward. If I try to climb the mountain in one leap, I’ll never even get started, because it’s too overwhelming.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I had to be willing to start where I was and let it lead me.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So when you’re pursuing your dreams, avoid making grandiose plans. You don’t have to find that one perfect passion. You just have to follow the passion clues in front of you.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Look at what you can do today, and then pick what excites or interests you. When you’re done with that, look around and take the next step that interests you.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">2. Forcing Progress</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I realized I could get paid to do something I was interested in, I got lost in chasing money.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I wanted to make more money, and I wanted to make it fast. In other words, I began forcing progress. I ended up feeling frustrated, lost, and overwhelmed.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whenever I force progress, it means I’m trying to do something I can’t do.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I used to work 12-hour days to try and make things happen. Today I work 2-3 hours per day and make more progress because I listen to my inspiration. I take action when I feel good.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve become aware of the fact that things happen in their own time. I can enjoy the ride and let life unfold naturally.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Trying to be somewhere or accomplish something comes from me believing that if I could just get somewhere, I would be happier.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But the truth of the matter is that I can be happy now, and I can move from that place of happiness. I can take inspired action instead of needy action (trying to get something or do something to become happier).</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And when I do, the action I take is many times more powerful.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So look at the options you have available to you right now, and then notice which one is the most interesting to you. Then do that.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t try to force things. If you feel overwhelmed. Go lie down, relax, and when you feel better, ideas will pop up.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">3. Thinking Ahead</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m a master worrier.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can conjure up horror movie-like scenarios in my head. In the past, I used to ponder what could go wrong, but as the years have passed, I’ve began leaning more towards pondering what can go right.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Why?</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Because worrying doesn’t help. If anything, worrying makes what you worry about happen.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Imagine that you’re driving to the next town. You’re moving forward and everything is going well, but uh oh, suddenly you have a thought: What if I don’t make it?</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What if the people in that town don’t like me?</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What if I put in all this time for nothing?</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So you stop the car and start thinking about your potentially grim fate. You stop moving, and eventually you decide that you’ll never get there, so you turn around and head home.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">While this may sound ridiculous, this is what many do (myself included), then we wonder why nothing good ever happens.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The solution for me has not been to try and eliminate bad thoughts. I simply let them be, but I focus on what could go right.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I ask more productive questions and I guide my thoughts to places that feel good. And when I do, I get inspired, and good things happen.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">4. Making Fear Your Enemy</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On my journey to doing what I love, fear has kept popping up time and time again. But fear isn’t my enemy.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve noticed that when I follow my passion, it highlights what no longer belongs. It shows me beliefs and fears that need to be let go of.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Most people believe they’re doing something wrong when irrational fears, anxieties and worries pop up, but the opposite is true.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When you follow your heart and go after your dreams, you will have to let go of your baggage so you can soar higher.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The way I deal with fear is to feel it fully. When I have a particularly bad day, I’ll lie down, and feel whatever is going on in my body. It is only through feeling what you feel that you can let it go.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So don’t let fear scare you. Take it as a sign that you’re on the right path. Feel your fear fully.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Notice what you’re thinking about as you feel the fear. It’s often something you don’t want. Flip it to something you do want and notice what happens.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Creating Rules</span></span></h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last, but not least, when I was starting out, I would be so worried about failing that I’d take the advice of successful people and make them into rules.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I wanted to follow a formula that would guarantee my success. The more I did that, the worse my results were.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The key for me was to take what I learned, such as how to build a popular blog, and make it my own. I experimented with the advice and saw what worked and what didn’t.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I noticed what felt right, and I did what I could. I didn’t try to apply everything I learned.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And that’s really the key, you have to do what feels best for you, and you have to uncover your own answers.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Doing that has helped me build a 10,000+ subscriber blog and a passion business that supports me and my family.</span></span><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFVLC-FtCBSsdsEuqlr-1W50cvtfaX0HCyLEP3Ms4t3WiD4XcXwmvp8k6UH7_4oaR1xwPF1aKfBFOnI_4xA-VYTVeJ0vD5uCx2uh0eyKxkJ-hjPVXKqt_uu_WESfVZX4q4wJmDchSqOgU/s1600/44.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFVLC-FtCBSsdsEuqlr-1W50cvtfaX0HCyLEP3Ms4t3WiD4XcXwmvp8k6UH7_4oaR1xwPF1aKfBFOnI_4xA-VYTVeJ0vD5uCx2uh0eyKxkJ-hjPVXKqt_uu_WESfVZX4q4wJmDchSqOgU/s400/44.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><h3><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>Creating Rules</i></span></span></span></h3></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Bottom Line</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When following your passion, you have to be willing to stop looking for permission. You have to start looking inside for the answers.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The more I’ve started doing this, the more I’ve noticed that I have everything I need to move forward. I have the inspiration and inner nudges that take me places.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You can always make excuses for why you can’t take action, but the truth is that you can always take the next step.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And the next step is all that’s needed.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You don’t have to figure out your life right now.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You don’t have to find the perfect passion.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You just have to take the next step.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You have to do what you can with what you have.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That’s it.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And if you have trouble finding your passion, or living a fulfilling life, you can check out my book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DIHO7NS" title="Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself"><i>Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself</i></a>.</span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hope you enjoyed this article. If you have any questions, I’ll be in the comments below.</span></span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><object height="61" width="300"><param name="movie" value="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/ZW6O7FF7?autostart=true" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed width="300" height="61" src="http://mp3.zing.vn/embed/song/ZW6O7FF7?autostart=true" quality="high" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: purple;"><span class="authorlink"> </span></span></span></span></i></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: purple;"><span class="authorlink">By <span class="author vcard"><span class="fn">Henri Junttila</span></span></span></span></span></span></i></b></div>

5 Mistakes You Must Avoid When Following Your Passion

Photo by Caden Crawford In 2006, I had a vague feeling of unease. I felt like something was missing, but I didn’t know what. I was playing p...

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